This is a GREAT article that I read the other day. I thought it was going to read like most articles written under this topic but to my suprise it was quite insightful. I think this is something that every man and woman should read........
When I confessed to my EX’s questioning of my fidelity over a year ago, all she could say was “wow”. She seemed very taken aback by my answer. So today, when I was asked ‘why men cheat’ by a young lady during a Public Speaking event, I was initial hesitant to share the full conversation me and my EX had about her suspicion of my lack of loyalty.
“Can you tell me why all men cheat on loyal Women?” a curly haired PreMed student asked me today, during my public speak to a room full of 300 Women. My response to her question was,
“Males cheat on loyal women to boost their ego. A woman can be perfect for him. Beautiful, career minded, own money, cooks, does whatever he wants her to do in bed, loyal, intelligent, educated, faithful and yet, he will still cheat on her with an ugly, kangaroo looking girl every time. But why?
How a male treats a woman is NOT a reflection of HER worth. Nor is it a reflection on anything she LACKS or is not doing. An overly macho, mentally weak, sensitive-minded male knows he does not DESERVE a strong minded woman. In his mind, he thinks one day she will mentally awaken to the realization she deserves better than him & leave him. This is why males cheat on a woman, to have POWER over her. He cheats on her to boost his ego.
Most “males” are more insecure than women. Notice I referred to a “male” and not a “man”, as there is a distinct difference. Many males have VERY low self esteem. You can tell, that’s why he says, “I only fuck with bad bitches”. He is saying this to convince himself, attempting to drown out his insecurities that are on repeat inside of his own mind.
By cheating on a good woman, it makes a weak minded male feel he has POWER over her. It makes him feel he is worth more than her. A male knows if he cheats on a loyal woman, she will care about him more. Yes, initially she will be shocked a man has the audacity to cheat on her, especially with an UGLY woman. No, not merely “physically” ugly, no. The word UGLY describes the particular amount of compassion, sweetness and being genuine and nurturing the woman he cheats with lacks.
A woman whose loyalty is taken for granted will question herself like:
“what is wrong with me?
Am I not I’m pretty enough?
Is my ass not curvy and fat enough for him?
Is my stomach not slim enough for him?
Is it because I won’t let him bring another girl in the bedroom with us?
Is it my smart mouth?
Is it that I’m always “over emotional” like he complains?
What aren’t I doing right?
Should I do more?”
Then she will try to stay with him to PROVE to him she is better than the girl he cheated on her with. To prove to herself she can fight for love and can help him by help changing a bad boy into a good man, fooling herself. This is reverse psychology. A weak minded male just got a Good Woman to mentally submit herself to a mentally immature man, purely by cheating on her. Males use cheating to TRICK a good woman into SETTLING for him. But this mind game many males play cannot and will not work on a Loyal woman who knows her WORTH.
I learned as Men, we must realize that ONE woman who holds us down and stays by our side, after we cheat on her, lie to her, hurt her, use her and disrespect her over & over & over, she is NOT loyal. She is WEAK. She is poisonous. She will hold back your growth as a Man. Don’t be fooled & think a girl telling you what you want to hear is loyalty.
As a mentally mature Man, we need a Woman who will be genuine with us at all times, even if that means she speaks her mind to the point her words pierce us and her tone appears to be “smart mouthed”. In reality, she’s not being “smart mouthed’ she’s being a Queen mentality strong enough to verbally ascend to her thrown.
a Loyal, Strong Minded Woman will speak her mind, regardless of what anyone thinks. Tell us the TRUTH. Tell us when we are WRONG. A Loyal woman will not allow us to hurt her multiple times & still accept us. That is NOT loyalty. Not at all. That is Pacifying. Babying. Appeasing.
A Loyal Woman will be loyal to your MANHOOD, not loyal to your EGO. A Loyal Woman will tell us the TRUTH, even if that means she might LOSE us. A Loyal Woman will tell us when our shitstinks, even if it makes us mad. A mentally mature man does not want a YES woman. Trust me. We don’t want a girl who will LET us hurt you and abuse you over & over & still accept us back, simply because you keep being told through Instagram Memes that real love must be suffered through and fought for. If she still stays with us after we prove to her time and time again that we genuinely aren’t strong enough as a man to keep her consistently happy in a relationship, it means she doesn’t really care about us as a man. She only cares about how we make her feel sexually. She is dickdizzy.
When a Woman truly LOVES a man, she loves him at his BEST, not settling for his worst. She wants us to BE the MAN who we were destined to be by the Holy Spirit. A man who can speak life into a woman, erase her insecurities, and shower her with loyalty and consistence. A loyal woman will tell her man to get his lazy ass up, get a job & pursue his dreams. A Loyal Woman will not allow a man to live off her. A Loyal Woman will not baby a man by working a job herself, while he sits his lazy ass in her house all day, playing XBOX and eating Lucky Charms and Pop Tarts raw.
A Loyal Woman will not allow a man to talk down to her & disrespect her like she’s any girl, because she knows a mentally mature man DESERVES a Strong Minded Woman. A Loyal Woman will not allow a man to refer to her as a Bitch, Bad Bitch, Boss Bitch, My Bitch, Wifey Bitch, because she knows we deserve a Queen who has integrity.
A Loyal Woman will not allow a male to FORCE her to get an abortion, or let him off the hook for abandoning her after getting her pregnant, because she knows we DESERVE to be a Father, not a Baby Daddy. A Loyal Woman will not tell a man what he wants to hear, she will feed him wisdom he NEEDS to hear and not be scared to do to it, because she is Loyal to his inner king, which is his spirit. A Loyal Woman will not allow a man to cheat on her over & over, leave her, then come crawling his cheating ass back after he had sex with every girl in the neighborhood, 11 of his followers on twitter, every girl who liked the pick of his “are you DTF or nah?” meme on his Instagram page. No, because she knows her worth.
Just as I speak to you women today, I speak life into young men as well, and I tell them to carry themselves as a KING, to hold their head high and never settle for a WEAK woman, when he deserves a Strong Queen like you young women. Yes, a WEAK Woman may always tell a man that he is right, yes she will let him use her, yes she will give him her money to pay his phone bill that is in his mother’s name, and she will give him her money without him even having to ask, but; she can never make him a better man and she can never love him like, a loyal woman can.
I made a huge mistake committing myself to a weak minded woman before, and that woman was my ex. Last year after I broke up with her, she asked me if I ever cheated on her, as she always suspected. I told her the truth and confessed, “I have never cheated on you or any woman, and I have never been unfaithful in any relationship.”
After my confession, all she could say was, “wow”, because it is commonly assumed all men cheat, yet this is completely false. I could agree all males cheat, at some point in their life, but a “Man” not a “male” but a man knows if he cheats, he would be not only cheating on a good woman, he would be cheating himself out of allowing a loyal woman to help mold him into a king.
Many people argue men cheat, because his woman will not do what his women on the side will, but he would never even consider the option of having women on the side if he deserved her in the first place. Some men are genuinely not ready for a relationship. To force one with him is only creating a relationship death wish. The idea that men are incapable of being monogamous is false.
I enjoy going on dates, flirting, courting and enjoy my single life, but in the back of my mind, I’m looking for a WIFE. I have ZERO interest in having side HOES or “fans”. I don’t need to have sex with every beautiful woman I meet to prove how much of a “man” I am. My loyalty, monogamy, spirituality & mental maturity proves that.
Each woman I meet, I’m looking to see if she is Wife Material. Because I know I am Husband material. My mother raised a future husband, not a hoe. I choose to be celibate while single, because my mother raised me to be a father and not a baby daddy. I live my life this way as proof that loyal men do indeed exist.
I have to admit, I am extremely picky and I know what a want in a woman. I want a woman who is as strong minded as me. I must admit I love a woman with a smart mouth who will speak her mind, yet knows that my masculinity and romantic aggression will always demand her respect, so she never verbally disrespects me. I love a woman who is spiritual. I love a woman who loves to shop & dress her ass of. It makes me want to spoil her with new heels every payday to keep her shoe game on point.
I enjoy the single life, but I have to admit, I miss having a girlfriend to SPOIL. To show off. To take shopping to the mall before our dinner date. Waiting an hour outside her house knowing she’s getting her hair right, eye lashes long, eye brows perfect, make-up on point just for me. I miss buying those Mani/Pedi gift cards that come in the cute lil box & surprising her with it to make sure my woman’s feet & nails stay on point.
I miss taking the SAME LOYAL WOMAN out every weekend, on spontaneous dates to the gun range, laser tag, in door bungee jumping, rock climbing, wine tasting, on a tropical cruise, snorkeling with dolphins or just to the beach for a walk on the sand after a I cook her lunch, fried chicken, bbq wings, potato salad, pesto pasta, fresh lemonade & peach cobbler I made just for us.
I miss having the SAME LOYAL WOMAN to cook for every day, to have in the kitchen teaching her to cook, then putting an ice cube down her back & laughing, play food fighting, then chasing her around my house
searching for her all around, only to find her laying in my bed, ready for me to trEAT her like food.
I miss making love to the SAME LOYAL WOMAN, texting the SAME GIRL all day, & never getting tired of hitting her with my hilarious vulgar humor and deep intellectual conversation. Being hilarious, making her laugh her ass off to the point her stomach hurts from how much I am making her laugh. I miss hearing the SAME VOICE every night before I go to sleep, hearing her cheese at the sound of my DEEP voice. I miss being a provider for the SAME LOYAL WOMAN, being her rock, someone she can tell all her problems to, vent to and then give her some sound advice, speaking life into my woman to make her feel better.
I miss giving those full body deep tissue massages after her long day. I miss having that ONE I can bring around my moms & sisters, to family events, so everyone knows she’s mine. I miss having that ONE to pray with, to cuddle up & read the bible with. I enjoy being Single, but honestly, I’d be willing to be loyal in a relationship if I found the ONE worth committing to. This is how mentally mature men feel. Yes all males may cheat, but a mentally mature man knows nothing can sharpen his iron and no one can mold him into a king other than a loyal woman.”
After I finished speaking, the young women really humbled me, as so many of them personally thanked me for writing “Why the hell am I still dating Black Women.” I never intended that piece to become an article. I was just venting off an extremely disgusting experience I had at a barbershop.
I want all my young kings to know they deserve a loyal woman, not a fast girl. We as men need to do much better. Lets be the men we want our sisters to marry, the men we want our daughters one day to be wifed by. Being a good man really is not that hard young kings.
All a Loyal Woman really wants from us as a man is us our attention. That’s all. And that’s not asking a lot at all. Don’t make her feel crazy for wanting us to give her consistency. Don’t have her second guessing if it’s too early to for her to expect us to be loyal, caring and faithful to her. It’s not. Not at all.
If we like her, if we want to spend time with her in any way, she DESERVES our undivided attention. Not half of our attention on her, and half on every other girl on these social networks. My sister said a man doesn’t deserve her time if we are not willing to give her our consistent attention. You may think that is a lot to ask but remember, in order to posses a treasure, one must in return give up what the treasure is WORTH. Loyalty.
By: Ebrahim Aseem
Click link to view Ebrahim's website and other articles
http://realnewspaper.wordpress.com/2014/03/13/why-men-cheat-on-loyal-women/
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
The Zodiac- A Deeper Look
The Zodiac!
This is something that everyone knows something about but surprisingly not everyone really has an in depth understanding of what it is and how much the zodiac really governs their lives. The zodiacs are twelve 30 degree divisions that are centered upon the ecliptic: the apparent path of the Sun across the celestial sphere over the course of the year. We refer to these twelve divisions as the zodiac.
Many people disregard the zodiac now in days as occult practices or attempts at fortune telling but the zodiac can be found dating back to ancient times. By observing the constellation, our ancestors knew when to hunt because they could tell when animals would hibernate and migrate. They knew when the rains were coming and when it would be dry. They could tell when to plant and when to harvest. In the bible, The Three Kings even followed the Star of Bethlehem in the sky to find Jesus Christ in a manger. Some scholars even consider astrology to be the first form of psychology.
The 12 Signs
The twelve signs of the zodiac in astrological order are
=Aries the Ram March 21- April 19
=Taurus the Bull April 20- May 20
=Gemini the Twins May 20- June 20
=Cancer the Crab June 21- July 22
=Leo the Lion July 23- Aug 22
=Virgo the Maiden Aug 23-Sept 21
=Libra the Scales Sept 22- Oct 23
=Scorpio the Scorpion Oct 24- Nov 21
=Sagittarius The (Centaur) Archer Nov 22- Dec 21
=Capricorn "Goat Horned" The Sea Goat Dec 22-Jan 19
=Aquarius the Water Bearer Jan 20- Feb 18
=Pisces the Fishes Feb 19- March 20.
click link to watch a video giving brief descriptions of each sign
Planets
*Aries ruled by Mars: God of War and its influences are energetic and aggressive
*Taurus ruled by Venus: Planet of love, beauty and creativity. Inspires art, romance and also fortune
*Gemini fuled by Mercury: Planet governs communication and commerce (particularly contracts). Governs reason, analysis, verbal and written expression, as well as trade.
*Cancer ruled by the Moon: Closely tied to mood, emotions. Associated with your mother and women in general. Governs primal and unconscious habits, drives and instincts.
*Leo ruled by the Sun: The sun gives life to all things on the planet. The sun brings light to who you are deep down. It governs the ego and illuminates your nature and character. The sun is also associated with your father and how you relate to him.
*Virgo ruled by Mercury: Planet governs communication and commerce (particularly contracts). Governs reason, analysis, verbal and written expression, as well as trade.
*Libra ruled by Venus: Planet of love, beauty and creativity. Inspires art, romance and also fortune
*Scorpio(Mars) Ruled by Pluto: The planet associated with the unconscious, sex and death. It is associated with rebirth. All things occult and spiritual are in Pluto's domain.
*Sagittarius ruled by Jupiter: This planet is all about luck, opportunity and optimism. Jupiter brings expansion and growth. Think big!
*Capricorn ruled by Saturn: This planet is more about constraint and restriction. Saturn presents us with the very obstacles that we need to grow. Challenging and strict are associated with this planet.
*Aquarius(Saturn) ruled by Uranus: The planet of unexpected change. Thought to be a rebel and not one to follow the norms with a heavy humanitarian streak.
*Pisces(Jupiter) ruled by Neptune: The planet of imagination, illusion and deception, particularly self-deception.
Note that I added the classical rulers of signs in parenthesis. These rulers were assigned to the signs before Uranus, Neptune and Pluto were discovered. Also note that some planets rule two signs.
I've broken down the twelve signs and their governing planet to show you how the characteristics of each planet play a major part in the characteristics of each sign.
The Sun Sign is what most people think about when they think of the zodiac. The sun sign describes your basic nature and the personality traits that remain constant through the ups and downs of life. It is the image you shine out to the world, but it comes from that truest, innermost part of you. The sun, which is actually a star, is at the center of the Solar System, and likewise, your sun sign describes your unique personal center.
The sun describes the particular way that you're vital or powerful in life. For example, those with the sun in Cancer are known to be homebodies. More than just a quirky trait, being at home makes the Cancer feel powerful and vital, and where great things can be achieved. The sun sign shows what kind of environments and situations light you up.
From the pursuit of a mate to a career, the sun sign shows how your ego or will pushes out into new experiences. Each of the twelve signs does this a little bit differently, which is part of what makes the human parade endlessly fascinating. And that's why knowing someone's sun sign can help you understand all the people in your life from the intimate sphere to the work place.
In romance, knowing how certain signs behave at close range can save you a lot of heartache or help you plan your strategy. The sun sign gives crucial clues to understanding the dating behavior of the opposite sex.
To figure out what your sun sign, simply match up the month and day of your birth with the dates listed above under The 12 Signs.
Though the Sun sign gives us a great insight into who we are it isn't the only sign that makes up who we are. If you ever felt like you didn't act or portray the characteristics of your Sun sign it's because there are more signs that govern your daily life. Your Moon sign and your ascendant or rising sign influence you as well.
The Ascendant/Rising Sign is the zodiac sign that was rising on the eastern horizon at the moment you were born. The ascendant is said to be the mask one wears in public. It is the first impression we make when we meet new people; it shows our natural defenses and how we cope with day to day issues. Often, if you are confused at how others describe you, it is because they are describing this aspect of your personality. The ascendant takes part in your appearance and personality, going as far as influencing physical characteristics sometimes. The sign becomes expressed in your image, style and mannerisms. It is also expressed in how you act. To calculate your ascendant sign you would need to know the exact date and time of your birth, whether it was am or pm, and the location. Then once you have that information, use a rising sign calculator to plug in your information and it will give you your sign.
Click on link for Rising Sign Calculator
More info on Ascendant/Rising Signs
While the sun rules your individuality and and the ascendant dictates our outer appearance and mannerisms, the Moon Sign rules your emotional nature. It expresses the unconscious side of our personality. It explains why we do what we do. This is where we retreat for comfort, childhood memories, and peace. This can also be the place where anger, hate, jealousy and fear may be found.
Most people will have their Moon in a Sign that is different from the Sun. This is why many people with the same Sun Sign can be different form each other. They may feel that when they read a description of their sign, that it is not representative of them. It may feel incomplete, or even completely innacurate. Moon signs may be a much more accurate description of what a person is like.
The Moon is said to represent your instinctual self, which many people keep hidden. On points where your Sun and Moon signs are compatible, they will work together to help you get through the hardships and accomplish your goals. Where they are not compatible, you will feel conflicting desires or be at odds with yourself in some way. For example, if your Moon is in Gemini, you may be very changeable emotionally. You may get stressed out easily, and the people you discuss your issues with, the more confused you may become. Scorpio Moons also deal with a lot of stress, but tend to keep it all under wraps. Jealousy may be a big problem for a person with a Scorpio Moon. Aries Moons are headstrong, aggressive and may be difficult to control. They do best if they can find a physical outlet for their emotions, like sports. Our Moon Signs also offers insight in how to reach our inner child.
To calculate your moon sign you will need your birth date and time of birth. Click on the links below to enter in your information. http://www.moonsigncalendar.net/calculate-moonsign.htm or
More info on Moon Signs
Once you figure out your sun, moon and rising sign you will be that much closer to discovering who you are and maybe some insight into your own mind. I learned a lot about myself, I'm a Virgo Sun, Scorpio Moon and Aquarius Ascendant. I learned behaviors that I was prone to having and things that I may need to watch out for.
If you want to go even deeper you can research your entire birth chart. That gives you your sun, moon and rising sign along with what sign rules what house in your chart and in what degree. It's a lot to take in at one time. Don't worry, you don't have to get it all in one day. Just browse around here and there and eventually you'll get there.
I hope I shed a little light for those who know nothing of astrology and a little more light for those of you that do.
Other helpful links and videos
CIAA 2014- Post Review
To the pleasure of many, CIAA Commissioner Jacqui Carpenter announced that the CIAA will remain in Charlotte for 6 more years on Monday Mar 3.
I for one am happy they decided that because I look forward to the CIAA being in my city every year. I get to party into the early mornings and see friends that I haven't seen in a while. And the best part is..... I dont have to travel!
This year didn't let me down one bit! I partied like a rock star and I saw friends that I haven't seen in a while.
Parties, celebrities, traffic jams, basketball tournaments and alcohol were all happening during this years CIAA as mobs of people swarmed to Charlotte to be apart of the cities biggest annual event.
Just like in previous years, people came from all over the world to shop, eat and party with some of the worlds most famous celebrities. This year, big name entertainers such as P. Diddy, Wale, Doug E. Fresh, Future, Kevin Hart, Fabolous and Lil Wayne were just a few celebrities that hosted events at various venues throughout the city.
I'm sure you guys heard about the shooting incident that happened at the Sheraton hotel after the Diddy, Fabolous and Future party at about 2 am on Sunday morning. Two men were shot and a few people were rushed to the hospital due to injuries while trying to escape the hotel; luckily no one was fatally wounded.
Other than this incident, the CIAA was pretty much a success!
In my previous post; CIAA 2014 Pre Review, I told you guys that I would be attending the Warm up hosted by the Sigmas of Charlotte. I was all excited to go but unfortunately, I didn't make it. I thought the time was 830-11 pm but it was really 530-830 pm and I missed the event completely. I can't even give you guys a personal review on this event but from what I've been told and from the pictures it looks like everyone enjoyed themselves.
Thursday night I did attend the JCSU Young Alumni party at Empire Lounge. It was pretty fun from what I can remember; I seen a lot of alumni from the school and the venue was really nice. The drinks were pretty good and affordable but I don't remember them having a drink special. The only thing I didn't like was feeling like I was in a gym party. Everything was too dark! I think the best alumni party and venue thus far was in 2012 at Nikkos. It was well lit and very spacious. Everyone knows each other at Smith so I don't expect too see much dancing when I attend this event. It's more about the socializing, visualizing and drinking than dancing and you can't really do the first two in the dark. Unfortunately, I was drinking too heavily that night and ended up leaving the party early. I only remember the first hour or less that I was actually in the club. Everything else is a blur! I'll do better next year tho... I promise!
Friday night was probably my wildest night. The Grits & Biscuits party was jumping!! It was everything it was promoted to be. A thousand or more people, endless down south music and non stop dancing. There were so many people at the event that I didn't get to see half of my friends that were there.
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In the future, this is definitely a party you want to arrive early too. I got there at about 12 am and didn't get in until about thirty minutes later. Other than pimping us for $11 drinks all night, the party was a hit!
I would definitely attend this party again if they have it in 2015. If you have Instagram just search #gritsandbiscuits and look at some of the pictures and videos.
I'm still hot about the Founders Hall party that I was supposed to go too Saturday night. They cancelled two days before the event saying they did everything they could but couldn't come to an agreement with the venue. I'm thinking they would've already had an agreement sealed before promoting. And they cancelled this party last year too. I was so mad that I emailed them to let them know the inconvenience that they were causing me and my fun.
By the time I started looking for a back up, every other party was $40 plus or sold out so I figured Strike City being in the Epi Center was our best bet. First off the venue is really nice. Very upscale with illuminated bowling lanes in the background. Spacious setting and pretty good food, drinks and music.
Trying to beat traffic, we arrived early around 10 pm. The first two hours wasn't what we were expecting. It was kind of dull and it seemed like we bought tickets for a old school party.
Here are me and some of my friends on Thursday and Saturday night!
Just a little tip for next year: GET ADVANCED TICKETS! I don't know about everyone else but I always get advanced tickets for the parties I plan to attend. By doing so you can see which parties are going to be crowded by the tickets that have sold the fastest and you won't have to pay an arm and a leg at the door. I know a lot of people who waited until the last minute to buy tickets and ended up not going to the party of their choice because it was sold out or had to pay a grip to get in. CIAA is an event you PLAN AHEAD for... well depending on how much partying you plan to do. I'm always having crazy plans so planning ahead is key for me.
CIAA was an overall fun experience this year, I got my moneys worth at all my parties and I was with some pretty cool people. I look forward to six more years of partying in the Queen city!
I for one am happy they decided that because I look forward to the CIAA being in my city every year. I get to party into the early mornings and see friends that I haven't seen in a while. And the best part is..... I dont have to travel!
This year didn't let me down one bit! I partied like a rock star and I saw friends that I haven't seen in a while.
Parties, celebrities, traffic jams, basketball tournaments and alcohol were all happening during this years CIAA as mobs of people swarmed to Charlotte to be apart of the cities biggest annual event.
Just like in previous years, people came from all over the world to shop, eat and party with some of the worlds most famous celebrities. This year, big name entertainers such as P. Diddy, Wale, Doug E. Fresh, Future, Kevin Hart, Fabolous and Lil Wayne were just a few celebrities that hosted events at various venues throughout the city.
I'm sure you guys heard about the shooting incident that happened at the Sheraton hotel after the Diddy, Fabolous and Future party at about 2 am on Sunday morning. Two men were shot and a few people were rushed to the hospital due to injuries while trying to escape the hotel; luckily no one was fatally wounded.
Other than this incident, the CIAA was pretty much a success!
In my previous post; CIAA 2014 Pre Review, I told you guys that I would be attending the Warm up hosted by the Sigmas of Charlotte. I was all excited to go but unfortunately, I didn't make it. I thought the time was 830-11 pm but it was really 530-830 pm and I missed the event completely. I can't even give you guys a personal review on this event but from what I've been told and from the pictures it looks like everyone enjoyed themselves.
Thursday night I did attend the JCSU Young Alumni party at Empire Lounge. It was pretty fun from what I can remember; I seen a lot of alumni from the school and the venue was really nice. The drinks were pretty good and affordable but I don't remember them having a drink special. The only thing I didn't like was feeling like I was in a gym party. Everything was too dark! I think the best alumni party and venue thus far was in 2012 at Nikkos. It was well lit and very spacious. Everyone knows each other at Smith so I don't expect too see much dancing when I attend this event. It's more about the socializing, visualizing and drinking than dancing and you can't really do the first two in the dark. Unfortunately, I was drinking too heavily that night and ended up leaving the party early. I only remember the first hour or less that I was actually in the club. Everything else is a blur! I'll do better next year tho... I promise!
Friday night was probably my wildest night. The Grits & Biscuits party was jumping!! It was everything it was promoted to be. A thousand or more people, endless down south music and non stop dancing. There were so many people at the event that I didn't get to see half of my friends that were there.
In the future, this is definitely a party you want to arrive early too. I got there at about 12 am and didn't get in until about thirty minutes later. Other than pimping us for $11 drinks all night, the party was a hit!
I would definitely attend this party again if they have it in 2015. If you have Instagram just search #gritsandbiscuits and look at some of the pictures and videos.
Don't this look like it was going to be crazy! (Founders Hall CIAA 2013)
By the time I started looking for a back up, every other party was $40 plus or sold out so I figured Strike City being in the Epi Center was our best bet. First off the venue is really nice. Very upscale with illuminated bowling lanes in the background. Spacious setting and pretty good food, drinks and music.
Trying to beat traffic, we arrived early around 10 pm. The first two hours wasn't what we were expecting. It was kind of dull and it seemed like we bought tickets for a old school party.
Around 12 am Dj Kid Capri took over and the party went from 0-1000! He was playing hit after hit after hit and really had the crowd going. He did up north music vs down south music and new school vs old school with a little reggae at the end. I turned out to be a great party!
Here are me and some of my friends on Thursday and Saturday night!
Just a little tip for next year: GET ADVANCED TICKETS! I don't know about everyone else but I always get advanced tickets for the parties I plan to attend. By doing so you can see which parties are going to be crowded by the tickets that have sold the fastest and you won't have to pay an arm and a leg at the door. I know a lot of people who waited until the last minute to buy tickets and ended up not going to the party of their choice because it was sold out or had to pay a grip to get in. CIAA is an event you PLAN AHEAD for... well depending on how much partying you plan to do. I'm always having crazy plans so planning ahead is key for me.
CIAA was an overall fun experience this year, I got my moneys worth at all my parties and I was with some pretty cool people. I look forward to six more years of partying in the Queen city!
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
I'm black and I'm proud........ but why???
I remember sitting in my dorm room, thinking of workshop
ideas for my fraternity during Black History Month and the phrase “I’m black
and I’m proud” popped into my head. I started
thinking of all the reasons why I was proud to be “black” and the impact my
people have had on America.
After minutes of thinking, I realized that blacks no longer make as great of an impact in the world like we once did. I tried to
think of the social and political impact that we have made in the past 20 years
or so and it’s kind of depressing.
Yes, we have done SOME things over the years. I don’t want to minimize the progress we have made but look at the things past generations have accomplished before
us. The tremendous obstacles and fierce
determination they had to make a change.
When we say “I’m black and I’m proud”, it seems that we’re
still riding off the coattail of what our predecessors did and not so much of
what we are doing now.
At one point black people -and I hate using this term; what
exactly is a BLACK person? We are too
diverse and multi-faceted to be confined to this one controversial word but I digress-
were accomplishing great things in the world and making changes within their
communities.
The Civil Rights Movement was started, the NAACP was making
great headway in the political arena, more and more people were becoming
educated and inventors created new ideas and technology that would change the
world forever.
The term “I’m black and I’m proud” was coined in 1968 by
James Brown with his funk song of the same title. The song spoke of the prejudices towards
blacks in America and the need for black empowerment. It was a hit!
Blacks everywhere were banding together, speaking out and
started a more militant approach to accomplishing their goals; the Black Power
movement had begun.
Powerful organizations like the Black Panther party and the Nation
of Islam were founded. They achieved
national and international notoriety; the Black Panther party even had a hand
in US politics.
When we refer to great people of black culture and the
things that we’ve accomplished we think of these people and these organizations.
Name some accomplishments that have we
made in the world lately? Even better, please
name a POSITIVE black stereotype that everyone could agree on. Don’t worry.... I’ll wait…..
I love my people and I love our history but I just feel at
times that we haven’t kept the momentum going.
Yes MLK would be happy to see his dream of desegregation throughout
America come true but think about all the other things that he would frown upon
now.
The good fight for equality, respect and opportunity has
turned into gold chains, baggy clothes and thongs.
We’ve made it! Of course that’s debatable but compared to
life in the early 1900’s, we have equality, respect and opportunity. Our great ancestors tried and died so that we
wouldn’t have to. Let’s continue to
honor their dreams and their legacy by leading and staying focused.
We’re no longer in the heart of the forest but we’re still
in the woods people. Let’s continue to
be great, to do great and to educate ourselves not just in the classroom but in
life. Rims and weave can’t be our
legacy!
Willie Lynch 2014
It’s
February so you know I couldn’t pass up the opportunity of a black history post.
What can
I say… I love being an African American man; yea we have to deal with BS from
time to time but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I love my skin tone, my coarse hair, my big
lips, my culture and our history. I LOVE BEING BLACK!
Even
though I can say that honestly and with my whole heart I know there’s a little
colored boy or colored girl out there who is desperately trying to say those
exact words and mean it! With the
constant bombardment of images you see every day telling you to love everything
you’re not, it’s no wonder why we are still buried in a hole that we can’t dig
ourselves out of. The system was made
that way, just ask Willie Lynch.
I hate
to break it to you but after 149 years post slavery, we colored people (not
just African American) are still enslaved.
This
time, the slave master doesn’t carry a chain or whip and force us into manual
labor. No, this slave master is much
worst. This slave master uses fear,
distrust and envy to keep it’s subjects in line. This slave master has a new name; its name is
your mind.
Controlling
the mind is a very hard feat to accomplish but once done, you have complete and
utter control over that person’s life.
You can program how they will think, walk and talk; even their desires
and aspirations. More deadly, you can
control how this person views them self.
Slave
owners of the 1700’s knew this truth and exploited it the very best they
could. Notorious slave owner Willie
Lynch knew exactly what to do to keep us enslaved for years to come. This is an excerpt from a speech he was
invited to give on the bank of the James River in the colony of Virginia in 1718 on how to control their slaves.
"I shall assure you that DISTRUST IS STRONGER THAN TRUST AND ENVY IS STRONGER THAN ADULATION, RESPECT OR ADMIRATION. The Black slaves after receiving this indoctrination shall carry on and will become self-refueling and self-generating for HUNDREDS of years, maybe THOUSANDS. Dont forget, you must pitch the OLD black male vs. the YOUNG black male, and YOUNG black male against the OLD black male. You must use the DARK skin slaves vs. the LIGHT skin slaves, and the LIGHT skin slaves vs. the DARK skin slaves. You must use the FEMALE vs. the MALE, and the MALE vs. the FEMALE. You must also have white servants and overseers [who] distrust all Blacks. But it is NECESSARY THAT YOUR SLAVES TRUST AND DEPEND ON US. THEY MUST LOVE, RESPECT AND TRUST ONLY US. Gentlemen, these kits are your keys to control. Use them. Have your wives and children use them, never miss an opportunity. IF USED INTENSELY FOR ONE YEAR, THE SLAVES THEMSELVES WILL REMAIN PERPETUALLY DISTRUSTFUL. Thank you gentlemen."
"I shall assure you that DISTRUST IS STRONGER THAN TRUST AND ENVY IS STRONGER THAN ADULATION, RESPECT OR ADMIRATION. The Black slaves after receiving this indoctrination shall carry on and will become self-refueling and self-generating for HUNDREDS of years, maybe THOUSANDS. Dont forget, you must pitch the OLD black male vs. the YOUNG black male, and YOUNG black male against the OLD black male. You must use the DARK skin slaves vs. the LIGHT skin slaves, and the LIGHT skin slaves vs. the DARK skin slaves. You must use the FEMALE vs. the MALE, and the MALE vs. the FEMALE. You must also have white servants and overseers [who] distrust all Blacks. But it is NECESSARY THAT YOUR SLAVES TRUST AND DEPEND ON US. THEY MUST LOVE, RESPECT AND TRUST ONLY US. Gentlemen, these kits are your keys to control. Use them. Have your wives and children use them, never miss an opportunity. IF USED INTENSELY FOR ONE YEAR, THE SLAVES THEMSELVES WILL REMAIN PERPETUALLY DISTRUSTFUL. Thank you gentlemen."
Talk about conspiracies! I'm not one to blame everyone for the plight of the black (wo)man but come on! This man systematically came up with a way to make sure our people were under their control and hating ourselves for years to come.
I need everyone to teach their kids this kind of information. It’s valuable stuff that could possibly spark some sort of change amongst the identity crisis that we have as African Americans.
I need everyone to teach their kids this kind of information. It’s valuable stuff that could possibly spark some sort of change amongst the identity crisis that we have as African Americans.
What’s worse is that he was right. Approximately 300 years later, we are still very much so feeling the effects of this system ingrained in us. The light skin vs. dark skin beef is still alive and well and black people are still distrusting of each other.
We still have strong admiration for whites and even put ourselves down in the process. When someone speaks proper and with good diction we say they "sound white" or when we work and live in the vicinity of whites we feel like we've made it.
We still have strong admiration for whites and even put ourselves down in the process. When someone speaks proper and with good diction we say they "sound white" or when we work and live in the vicinity of whites we feel like we've made it.
Too many people forget that no other race of people went through the level of physical, emotional and psychological damage that we endured. We were trained to hate everything about ourselves and to love everything about our oppressors.
We know these facts but we forget how much of an impact it has had on our people. We must not forget!
Us forgetting has resulted in dangerous outcomes. Women walk around with bleached skin, blonde hair and blue contacts and the men have Uncle Tom syndrome and prefer dating white woman because they don’t want to deal with our sistas.
This is not to bash us, I’m just speaking the ugly truth in hopes that we WAKE UP and realize what is at stake. We have to break this subconscious slavery and free ourselves!
I’ll leave you guys with another paragraph from the Willie Lynch speech on marriage.
THE NEGRO MARRIAGE
We breed two nigger males with two nigger females. Then, we take the nigger male away from them and keep them moving and working. Say one nigger female bears a nigger female and the other bears a nigger male; both nigger females—being without influence of the nigger make image, frozen with a independent psychology—will raise their offspring into reverse positions. The one with the female offspring will teach her to be like herself, independent and negotiable (we negotiate with her, through her, by her, negotiates her at will). The one with the nigger male offspring, she being in frozen subconscious fear for his life, will raise him to be mentally dependent and weak, but physically strong; in other words, body over mind. Now, in a few years when these two offsprings become fertile for early reproduction, we will make and breed them and continue the cycle. That is good, sound and long range comprehensive planning.
http://www.finalcall.com/artman/publish/Perspectives_1/Willie_Lynch_letter_The_Making_of_a_Slave.shtml
THE NEGRO MARRIAGE
We breed two nigger males with two nigger females. Then, we take the nigger male away from them and keep them moving and working. Say one nigger female bears a nigger female and the other bears a nigger male; both nigger females—being without influence of the nigger make image, frozen with a independent psychology—will raise their offspring into reverse positions. The one with the female offspring will teach her to be like herself, independent and negotiable (we negotiate with her, through her, by her, negotiates her at will). The one with the nigger male offspring, she being in frozen subconscious fear for his life, will raise him to be mentally dependent and weak, but physically strong; in other words, body over mind. Now, in a few years when these two offsprings become fertile for early reproduction, we will make and breed them and continue the cycle. That is good, sound and long range comprehensive planning.
Please comment and let me know your thoughts.
To read more of Willie Lynch’s ideals please click the link below
To read more of Willie Lynch’s ideals please click the link below
http://www.finalcall.com/artman/publish/Perspectives_1/Willie_Lynch_letter_The_Making_of_a_Slave.shtml
Saturday, February 15, 2014
CIAA 2014- A Pre Review
CI CI.... DOUBLE A!
It's that time again folks and I couldn't be more happy!
CIAA is here again! But before we talk about my plans for this epic week that's approaching let me give you guys a little background history on this historical tournament.
Founded in 1912 on the campus of Hampton Institute (now Hampton University), Central Intercollegiate Athletic Association or CIAA is a collegiate athletic conference, mostly consisting of historically black colleges and universities.
It was originally known as the Colored Intercollegiate Athletic Association and is the oldest African American conference in the United States; they adopted the current name in December of 1950.
Though the tournament has a legacy that dates back to 1892 when Biddle University, now Johnson C. Smith University, beat Livingstone in the first ever football game played between two African American colleges, when most people hear the term CIAA, they immediately think about parties, drinks and celebrities.
(I'm actually not sure if that's actually a good thing now that I think about it but i'll leave that alone for now)
During CIAA week I usually party from Wednesday to Saturday. I pack up my sons things and ship him off with family for the week and I shamelessly party all night long. Parents have to still get it in from time to time too!
And there isn't anything different about this year. My son will be with his grandfather all week while his mom and dad tear up the city with friends. Being that I'm a very detailed and orderly kind of guy, my CIAA wouldn't be right without my itinerary. I map out my whole week to ensure the success of my fun and drunkeness; don't believe me, just ask my friends.
Being that this is my pre CIAA post, I thought I would share my moves with you guys and let you see what i have planned.
Wednesday Night- Even though CIAA technically starts the last Monday in February, most "out of towners" dont start showing up to party until Thursday or Friday night. Since I live in Charlotte, I start my festivities Wednesday night with the Warm Up.
For tickets, click the link below
http://www.eventbrite.com/e/hookahlife-charlotte-lex-bibbs-thursday-night-hook-up-club-empire-tickets-10574611949?aff=es2&rank=1&sid=714856d992b611e3892622000a9f4d4e
Friday Night- Friday night I am trying something new this year. I usually do a lot of formal to semi formal events where everyone is dressed up and looking nice. Whack! I want to sweat and dance and feel like i did in college and that's why I'm going to the Grits & Biscuits party. There has been a lot of buzz surrounding this down south party from all over and its guaranteed to be the move for your Friday night. I looked up reviews from different cities and talked to people who went last CIAA and I've heard nothing but great things. This year, G&B will be hosted at The Fillmore and they are expecting hundreds of people like last year. The turn up is about to be real! Here are a few tips the promoters thought would be helpful to those planning on attending.
Bougie attitudes- you will look foolish
Suit jacket- rookie mistakes
Heels- rookie mistakes
Stretching- strongly suggested
Tickets- get them while they last
Fun- ALL NIGHT LONG
If you want to know more about this party, simply google Grits & Biscuits CIAA and for tickets please click the link http://www.livenation.com/events/330600-feb-28-2014-grits-biscuits-2014-21-w-valid-id
Saturday Night- Even though I was previously talking junk about the formal parties, I will be attending at least one this year. Saturday night I will be living it up in the Bank of America building uptown for the Founders Hall party. The pictures online look crazy and I've also spoken to people that went in previous years. This party is guaranteed to be one of the biggest and livest parties of CIAA weekend. You dont want to miss out on this one either.
 |
| Founders Hall CIAA party |
That pretty much sums up my plans for CIAA 2014, feel free to visit any of the sites to purchase tickets or to just check out any of the parties. I will not be attending any day parties this year unfortunately but if you will be and want to know where the parties are visit www.mingleberry.com and click on events or www.eventbrite.com and search CIAA.
Please comment below and tell me your thoughts!
Thursday, February 13, 2014
When Life Hands you Lemons: Acceptance and Positivity
I'm being plagued by the very same things that should be my motivation. My accomplishments validate to me even more why I should be somewhat successful in my career. Sadly, that's where it pretty much ends. I feel so defeated at times as a still fairly recent college graduate (2010). I was on such an incline in my life at one point in time and now that I've graduated, I'm stuck in my tracks.
The economy was in the worst state than in the past half a century and the job market plummeted completely. Graduates everywhere were faced with either three realities; go in debt further by advancing our education, search for a career in our related fields and hope to land a job offer or take a job that doesn't require a college education at all. Nothing wrong with working a job with no degree required, but when you spend thousand of dollars and countless man hours in your studies, you deserve what you've worked for.
On top of the stress of not landing that dream job I was promised by America if I went to college, I had a son by my college girlfriend. Now, not only am I trying to figure out who I am and what I want to do with my life but now I have a family to love and support. I wasn't ready.
I wasn't prepared.
This just wasn't in my life plans at the moment.
But like I've been taught to do all my life, I picked up my lemons and attempted to make lemonade. I made pitcher after pitcher after pitcher. I've made so much metaphoric lemonade that now I've started picking apples and oranges too. That's how much struggle I went through. I bounced from job to job searching for something lucrative and fulfilling but nothing seemed to happen for me.
At times like these when I'm struggling the most, I turn inwardly to do some self reflecting. What am I missing? What am I not learning to keep having to repeat this same lesson? Then one day it came to me.... Acceptance. I needed to learn how to accept my life, my rotten lemons and make my lemonade with pride. I needed to stop focusing on what I thought I should be doing and focus on perfecting what I was doing.
They say you have to trust GOD with your whole heart and at that moment I started to realize more what that meant. Yes, I've always felt like I put my trust in the creator but only when things were going good for me and in the same direction that I thought they should be going. When I was at my worst states, not knowing how I would manage or get over my hurdles, I tend to get nervous and unsettled. I would pray about it but I still wouldn't sleep well. I would use weed and alcohol to help me cope and escape my worries (that's a whole 'nother story in itself).
It dawned on me that I accepted the good moments in my life, but i refused to accept the bad. When things didn't go according to MY PLANS, I would try to force MY WILL to be done instead of figuring out how to make the most out of my ordeal. Once I realized that, things started to change for me. I didn't get upset about almost anything anymore. I made Acceptance my word for 2013 and for that whole year I accepted EVERYTHING that came my way.
When things got tough, I kept calm, cool and collect. I prayed and I showed GOD that I really did trust him and believed that he would never let me fall further than I was able to climb. Through acceptance I learned quite a few lessons on forgiveness and patience as well. I forgave others for things they had done and I forgave myself for things that I held onto.
Now that 2013 is behind me and I put practical use to the concept of acceptance, I have declared the year 2014 to be my year of positivity. Not only will I be positive to myself and those around me but I will be positive in my approach to life and situations. The Law of attraction is the name given to the belief that "like attracts like" and that by focusing on positive or negative thoughts, one can bring about positive or negative results.
My journey into positivity has just begun... I look forward to concluding my thoughts in 2015.
Please comment below and tell me your thoughts!
The Truth About Parenthood
Yes its true; children are the meaning to a fulfilled life. They bring great joy and an abundance of happiness and laughter. When asked, most parents only say good things about the whole parental experience. They don't talk about the life adjustments, stress, sleepless nights, domestic disputes and sometimes lame social life that comes with having your own little bundle of joy.
Don't get me wrong, I'm a parent and my son is my whole life. Even though being a dad isn't easy, I wouldn't trade it for the world. I could tell you how indescribable it is the amount of love you feel for your child or how good it feels to know that you have someone that loves you no matter what but that's not the point of this blog. Lets' tell the real truth about parenthood. Parenthood is one of the most beautiful experiences ever. And it will be even more beautiful, still, if parents knew exactly what they’re in for in every regard, not just the highly romanticized ones.
First things first; its alright to not want to be around your kids all the time. There... I said it! No one died and the world hasn't coming to an end. There are times where you wont find them as adorable or as pleasant to be around. Believe me, its true! But of course, being the loving and moral parent that you are, you bottle that feeling deep deep down in the very pits of your soul and pretend it away. Don't feel bad, you're not the only parent out there that just sometimes need a break.
There is a book written by Daniel Gilbert, Stumbling on Happiness, that even concluded that a person’s “average happiness” dips considerably at the onset of parenting and doesn't again rise until the first child has gone off to college. Now, I'm not going as far as to say your happiness will decline, but there are guaranteed life changes that will occur and you may not be as ready for them as you think.
Most people don't want to be the "bearer of bad news" when describing parenthood to friends or first time parents, so they tend to keep it light and friendly. But that's exactly what you shouldn't do! New parents will appreciate you much more for giving them a heads up on EVERYTHING that awaits them around the corner. If that still doesn't make you feel better, just think, What Would Jesus Do? He would want you to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
Another unspoken truth about parenting is everyone doesn't fall in love with their child at first sight. I'm sure you've heard the overly dramatized stories from parents of how they fell in love with their child as soon as they laid eyes on them. While that is true for a lot of couples, its not always true for everyone.
Studies have found that about 20% of new moms and dads feel no real emotional attachment to their newborn in the hours after delivery. Sometimes, it takes weeks or even months to feel that attachment according to WebMD. So, if you haven't begun bonding with your baby, don't feel anxious or guilty, it should come with time.
Parenthood is a joyous thing but lets not be afraid to tell the truth and the whole truth about it. We could be saving some people the heartache of having to figure it out on their own.
Please comment below, I'd love to hear your take on this!
Don't get me wrong, I'm a parent and my son is my whole life. Even though being a dad isn't easy, I wouldn't trade it for the world. I could tell you how indescribable it is the amount of love you feel for your child or how good it feels to know that you have someone that loves you no matter what but that's not the point of this blog. Lets' tell the real truth about parenthood. Parenthood is one of the most beautiful experiences ever. And it will be even more beautiful, still, if parents knew exactly what they’re in for in every regard, not just the highly romanticized ones.
First things first; its alright to not want to be around your kids all the time. There... I said it! No one died and the world hasn't coming to an end. There are times where you wont find them as adorable or as pleasant to be around. Believe me, its true! But of course, being the loving and moral parent that you are, you bottle that feeling deep deep down in the very pits of your soul and pretend it away. Don't feel bad, you're not the only parent out there that just sometimes need a break.
There is a book written by Daniel Gilbert, Stumbling on Happiness, that even concluded that a person’s “average happiness” dips considerably at the onset of parenting and doesn't again rise until the first child has gone off to college. Now, I'm not going as far as to say your happiness will decline, but there are guaranteed life changes that will occur and you may not be as ready for them as you think.
Most people don't want to be the "bearer of bad news" when describing parenthood to friends or first time parents, so they tend to keep it light and friendly. But that's exactly what you shouldn't do! New parents will appreciate you much more for giving them a heads up on EVERYTHING that awaits them around the corner. If that still doesn't make you feel better, just think, What Would Jesus Do? He would want you to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
Another unspoken truth about parenting is everyone doesn't fall in love with their child at first sight. I'm sure you've heard the overly dramatized stories from parents of how they fell in love with their child as soon as they laid eyes on them. While that is true for a lot of couples, its not always true for everyone.
Parenthood is a joyous thing but lets not be afraid to tell the truth and the whole truth about it. We could be saving some people the heartache of having to figure it out on their own.
Please comment below, I'd love to hear your take on this!
So now Zimmerman's a celebrity?
People have really gone crazy! Why would we allow George Zimmerman to be a topic of conversation in 2014? I was in total disbelief when I heard that Zimmerman was calling for a celebrity match. I was in even more disbelief when I heard that celebrities were actually responding. Rappers, The Game and DMX both have been vocal about accepting his challenge.
I'm sure both rappers and many Americans alike, are thinking this is the perfect opportunity to give Zimmerman what he deserves. I can empathize with that but I totally disagree with the whole notion. It seems that we are glorifying this killer by allowing him to put himself in a ring with someone famous and call it a "Celebrity Match". Since when did stalking, shooting and killing a innocent teenager give you that kind of pull? Although, ubsurd, I cant help but think this is his way of staying relevant in the media.
Since he was acquitted of all charges in the murder of Trayvon Martin, he's had several run ins with the law due to tempered situations. He was arrested in a alleged domestic dispute with his former wife and then handcuffed again for pointing a gun at his girlfriend not even 60 days later. When I think of Zimmerman, I think of thug or a tyrant, not someone worthy of being celebrated.
The most important question I want to ask the supporters of this boxing match is what happens when the match is over and Zimmerman has been beaten to a pulp? Will Trayvons' death be any less sad or senseless? Will Zimmermans' defeat ease the pain of Trayvon's mother, father and loved ones? Or worse, what if Zimmerman wins the match. Will people hate him more or regret the match entirely?
America needs to wake up and think about the message that we are perpetuating to our youth. The world is more and means more than just entertainment for the masses.
I'm sure both rappers and many Americans alike, are thinking this is the perfect opportunity to give Zimmerman what he deserves. I can empathize with that but I totally disagree with the whole notion. It seems that we are glorifying this killer by allowing him to put himself in a ring with someone famous and call it a "Celebrity Match". Since when did stalking, shooting and killing a innocent teenager give you that kind of pull? Although, ubsurd, I cant help but think this is his way of staying relevant in the media.
Since he was acquitted of all charges in the murder of Trayvon Martin, he's had several run ins with the law due to tempered situations. He was arrested in a alleged domestic dispute with his former wife and then handcuffed again for pointing a gun at his girlfriend not even 60 days later. When I think of Zimmerman, I think of thug or a tyrant, not someone worthy of being celebrated.
The most important question I want to ask the supporters of this boxing match is what happens when the match is over and Zimmerman has been beaten to a pulp? Will Trayvons' death be any less sad or senseless? Will Zimmermans' defeat ease the pain of Trayvon's mother, father and loved ones? Or worse, what if Zimmerman wins the match. Will people hate him more or regret the match entirely?
America needs to wake up and think about the message that we are perpetuating to our youth. The world is more and means more than just entertainment for the masses.
TOP 5 ENTREPRENEURAL MISTAKES
When entrepreneurs set out to start their own business, they’re usually very optimistic and overwhelmed with ideas. The last thing on any new business owners mind is the thought of their business failing. Unfortunately, this is a reality that many have to face, but little to no credit is ever given to possibly the biggest culprit of all, the owner! Yes the owner!
Statistics provided by the Small Business Association show that 30 percent of new businesses don’t survive the first two years and over 50 percent don’t make it past 5 years; sobering stats for someone tempted to put their time and effort into launching a new company. I’ve never been a business owner, but I know a few people who’ve made unsuccessful attempts. Each time, there was some outside factor in why the business didn’t succeed; economic reasons, the banks, competition and even the customers, but hardly ever does a owner point the finger at themselves.
Here are the top 5 mistakes entrepreneurs make when starting a new business and tips for avoiding them.
Market Research
Many new business owners make the mistake of not investigating the market in which they will soon be a part of; this is a very crucial step and should not be taken lightly. Without market research, you will be uninformed about your firms place within the business market. Researching helps to identify trends, where your product is most likely to sell, establish fair prices for your product, view domestic and international competitors and understand the customer’s needs. Market research also helps you discover what you’ve been doing right and more importantly, what you’ve been doing wrong. There are two types of market research, primary and secondary; they both have their pros and cons, you would just need to find which one fits your business type.
Lack of Planning
Anyone who has ever held a position within an organization or business, know that proper planning is a crucial component of building ANY successful company. You wouldn’t set sail at sea without a map, so why would you start a business without a business plan? Think of the plan as the organizational structure of your business, a blueprint for the future. The information gathered can help you foresee potential risks and develop strategies for dealing with them before hand. Banks and investors want to feel comfortable that your company will succeed before investing and want to see your plans of action. Think of a business plan as your companies resume. Even when the company is up and running, many owners refer back to their business plan to ensure the company is on track with meeting goals, sales, and operational milestones and even revise and refocus the plan if needed.
Poor Management
Many reports on business failures have poor business management at the top of the list. Weak and inexperienced management have damaging effects on employees and the companies themselves. New business owners frequently lack enough business and management expertise in areas such as finance, purchasing, selling, production, and hiring and managing employees. Unless they recognize what they don't do well, and seek help, business owners may soon face disaster. Fraud is another aspect of business that owners need to be educated on. With tough times due to the economy, there are many who would prey on new business owners eager to get their business underway. With mastered interpersonal communication, an understanding of business finance and a proper vision, your company will be on the road to success.
Insufficient Capital
Another mistake often made by entrepreneurs is underestimating the necessary amount of funding you will need to start your business and to keep it afloat. Businesses can take up to a year or more to get started and it’s important to have enough capital to survive this period. Insufficient capital restricts business capacity and makes growth nearly impossible.
Over-expansion
The leading cause for companies going bankrupt is because of overexpansion. Owners sometimes confuse the company’s success with how fast they can expand, big mistake! Some owners move into markets that aren’t profitable and too much money is borrowed to keep the company’s growth constant; sometimes less is more. You may want to think about expansion if you’re having difficulty keeping up with product demands or if you can’t fulfill customer needs in a timely manner. Once a solid customer base is built and steady profit is seen, then work on developing and expanding your company.
Many entrepreneurs underestimate the difficulty in starting a new business. These five steps can shed some insight on what not to do and some helpful tips to ensure successful longevity in today’s business world.
Please comment below, I would like to hear your feedback!
Statistics provided by the Small Business Association show that 30 percent of new businesses don’t survive the first two years and over 50 percent don’t make it past 5 years; sobering stats for someone tempted to put their time and effort into launching a new company. I’ve never been a business owner, but I know a few people who’ve made unsuccessful attempts. Each time, there was some outside factor in why the business didn’t succeed; economic reasons, the banks, competition and even the customers, but hardly ever does a owner point the finger at themselves.
Here are the top 5 mistakes entrepreneurs make when starting a new business and tips for avoiding them.
Market Research
Many new business owners make the mistake of not investigating the market in which they will soon be a part of; this is a very crucial step and should not be taken lightly. Without market research, you will be uninformed about your firms place within the business market. Researching helps to identify trends, where your product is most likely to sell, establish fair prices for your product, view domestic and international competitors and understand the customer’s needs. Market research also helps you discover what you’ve been doing right and more importantly, what you’ve been doing wrong. There are two types of market research, primary and secondary; they both have their pros and cons, you would just need to find which one fits your business type.
Lack of Planning
Anyone who has ever held a position within an organization or business, know that proper planning is a crucial component of building ANY successful company. You wouldn’t set sail at sea without a map, so why would you start a business without a business plan? Think of the plan as the organizational structure of your business, a blueprint for the future. The information gathered can help you foresee potential risks and develop strategies for dealing with them before hand. Banks and investors want to feel comfortable that your company will succeed before investing and want to see your plans of action. Think of a business plan as your companies resume. Even when the company is up and running, many owners refer back to their business plan to ensure the company is on track with meeting goals, sales, and operational milestones and even revise and refocus the plan if needed.
Poor Management
Many reports on business failures have poor business management at the top of the list. Weak and inexperienced management have damaging effects on employees and the companies themselves. New business owners frequently lack enough business and management expertise in areas such as finance, purchasing, selling, production, and hiring and managing employees. Unless they recognize what they don't do well, and seek help, business owners may soon face disaster. Fraud is another aspect of business that owners need to be educated on. With tough times due to the economy, there are many who would prey on new business owners eager to get their business underway. With mastered interpersonal communication, an understanding of business finance and a proper vision, your company will be on the road to success.
Insufficient Capital
Another mistake often made by entrepreneurs is underestimating the necessary amount of funding you will need to start your business and to keep it afloat. Businesses can take up to a year or more to get started and it’s important to have enough capital to survive this period. Insufficient capital restricts business capacity and makes growth nearly impossible.
Over-expansion
The leading cause for companies going bankrupt is because of overexpansion. Owners sometimes confuse the company’s success with how fast they can expand, big mistake! Some owners move into markets that aren’t profitable and too much money is borrowed to keep the company’s growth constant; sometimes less is more. You may want to think about expansion if you’re having difficulty keeping up with product demands or if you can’t fulfill customer needs in a timely manner. Once a solid customer base is built and steady profit is seen, then work on developing and expanding your company.
Many entrepreneurs underestimate the difficulty in starting a new business. These five steps can shed some insight on what not to do and some helpful tips to ensure successful longevity in today’s business world.
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