I'm black and I'm proud........ but why???

I remember sitting in my dorm room, thinking of workshop ideas for my fraternity during Black History Month and the phrase “I’m black and I’m proud” popped into my head.  I started thinking of all the reasons why I was proud to be “black” and the impact my people have had on America.

After minutes of thinking, I realized that blacks no longer make as great of an impact in the world like we once did.  I tried to think of the social and political impact that we have made in the past 20 years or so and it’s kind of depressing.

Yes, we have done SOME things over the years.  I don’t want to minimize the progress we have made but look at the things past generations have accomplished before us.  The tremendous obstacles and fierce determination they had to make a change. 

When we say “I’m black and I’m proud”, it seems that we’re still riding off the coattail of what our predecessors did and not so much of what we are doing now. 

At one point black people -and I hate using this term; what exactly is a BLACK person?  We are too diverse and multi-faceted to be confined to this one controversial word but I digress- were accomplishing great things in the world and making changes within their communities. 

The Civil Rights Movement was started, the NAACP was making great headway in the political arena, more and more people were becoming educated and inventors created new ideas and technology that would change the world forever.

The term “I’m black and I’m proud” was coined in 1968 by James Brown with his funk song of the same title.  The song spoke of the prejudices towards blacks in America and the need for black empowerment.  It was a hit!

Blacks everywhere were banding together, speaking out and started a more militant approach to accomplishing their goals; the Black Power movement had begun.

Powerful organizations like the Black Panther party and the Nation of Islam were founded.  They achieved national and international notoriety; the Black Panther party even had a hand in US politics.

When we refer to great people of black culture and the things that we’ve accomplished we think of these people and these organizations.  Name some accomplishments that have we made in the world lately?  Even better, please name a POSITIVE black stereotype that everyone could agree on.  Don’t worry.... I’ll wait…..

I love my people and I love our history but I just feel at times that we haven’t kept the momentum going.  Yes MLK would be happy to see his dream of desegregation throughout America come true but think about all the other things that he would frown upon now. 

The good fight for equality, respect and opportunity has turned into gold chains, baggy clothes and thongs.

 

We’ve made it! Of course that’s debatable but compared to life in the early 1900’s, we have equality, respect and opportunity.  Our great ancestors tried and died so that we wouldn’t have to.  Let’s continue to honor their dreams and their legacy by leading and staying focused.  

We’re no longer in the heart of the forest but we’re still in the woods people.  Let’s continue to be great, to do great and to educate ourselves not just in the classroom but in life.  Rims and weave can’t be our legacy!

Willie Lynch 2014

It’s February so you know I couldn’t pass up the opportunity of a black history post. 

What can I say… I love being an African American man; yea we have to deal with BS from time to time but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.  I love my skin tone, my coarse hair, my big lips, my culture and our history.  I LOVE BEING BLACK!

Even though I can say that honestly and with my whole heart I know there’s a little colored boy or colored girl out there who is desperately trying to say those exact words and mean it!  With the constant bombardment of images you see every day telling you to love everything you’re not, it’s no wonder why we are still buried in a hole that we can’t dig ourselves out of.  The system was made that way, just ask Willie Lynch.

I hate to break it to you but after 149 years post slavery, we colored people (not just African American) are still enslaved.

This time, the slave master doesn’t carry a chain or whip and force us into manual labor.  No, this slave master is much worst.  This slave master uses fear, distrust and envy to keep it’s subjects in line.  This slave master has a new name; its name is your mind.  

Controlling the mind is a very hard feat to accomplish but once done, you have complete and utter control over that person’s life.  You can program how they will think, walk and talk; even their desires and aspirations.  More deadly, you can control how this person views them self. 

Slave owners of the 1700’s knew this truth and exploited it the very best they could.  Notorious slave owner Willie Lynch knew exactly what to do to keep us enslaved for years to come.  This is an excerpt from a speech he was invited to give on the bank of the James River in the colony of Virginia in 1718 on how to control their slaves.

"I shall assure you that DISTRUST IS STRONGER THAN TRUST AND ENVY IS STRONGER THAN ADULATION, RESPECT OR ADMIRATION.  The Black slaves after receiving this indoctrination shall carry on and will become self-refueling and self-generating for HUNDREDS of years, maybe THOUSANDS.  Dont forget, you must pitch the OLD black male vs. the YOUNG black male, and YOUNG black male against the OLD black male.  You must use the DARK skin slaves vs. the LIGHT skin slaves, and the LIGHT skin slaves vs. the DARK skin slaves.  You must use the FEMALE vs. the MALE, and the MALE vs. the FEMALE.  You must also have white servants and overseers [who] distrust all Blacks.  But it is NECESSARY THAT YOUR SLAVES TRUST AND DEPEND ON US.  THEY MUST LOVE, RESPECT AND TRUST ONLY US.  Gentlemen, these kits are your keys to control. Use them.  Have your wives and children use them, never miss an opportunity.  IF USED INTENSELY FOR ONE YEAR, THE SLAVES THEMSELVES WILL REMAIN PERPETUALLY DISTRUSTFUL.  Thank you gentlemen."  

Talk about conspiracies! I'm not one to blame everyone for the plight of the black (wo)man but come on! This man systematically came up with a way to make sure our people were under their control and hating ourselves for years to come.

I need everyone to teach their kids this kind of information. It’s valuable stuff that could possibly spark some sort of change amongst the identity crisis that we have as African Americans. 

What’s worse is that he was right. Approximately 300 years later, we are still very much so feeling the effects of this system ingrained in us. The light skin vs. dark skin beef is still alive and well and black people are still distrusting of each other.  

We still have strong admiration for whites and even put ourselves down in the process.  When someone speaks proper and with good diction we say they "sound white" or when we work and live in the vicinity of whites we feel like we've made it.   

Too many people forget that no other race of people went through the level of physical, emotional and psychological damage that we endured. We were trained to hate everything about ourselves and to love everything about our oppressors.

We know these facts but we forget how much of an impact it has had on our people. We must not forget!

Us forgetting has resulted in dangerous outcomes. Women walk around with bleached skin, blonde hair and blue contacts and the men have Uncle Tom syndrome and prefer dating white woman because they don’t want to deal with our sistas.

This is not to bash us, I’m just speaking the ugly truth in hopes that we WAKE UP and realize what is at stake. We have to break this subconscious slavery and free ourselves!

I’ll leave you guys with another paragraph from the Willie Lynch speech on marriage.

THE NEGRO MARRIAGE

We breed two nigger males with two nigger females. Then, we take the nigger male away from them and keep them moving and working. Say one nigger female bears a nigger female and the other bears a nigger male; both nigger females—being without influence of the nigger make image, frozen with a independent psychology—will raise their offspring into reverse positions. The one with the female offspring will teach her to be like herself, independent and negotiable (we negotiate with her, through her, by her, negotiates her at will). The one with the nigger male offspring, she being in frozen subconscious fear for his life, will raise him to be mentally dependent and weak, but physically strong; in other words, body over mind. Now, in a few years when these two offsprings become fertile for early reproduction, we will make and breed them and continue the cycle. That is good, sound and long range comprehensive planning.

Please comment and let me know your thoughts.  


To read more of Willie Lynch’s ideals please click the link below

http://www.finalcall.com/artman/publish/Perspectives_1/Willie_Lynch_letter_The_Making_of_a_Slave.shtml

CIAA 2014- A Pre Review

CI CI.... DOUBLE A!

It's that time again folks and I couldn't be more happy!

CIAA is here again! But before we talk about my plans for this epic week that's approaching let me give you guys a little background history on this historical tournament.  

Founded in 1912 on the campus of Hampton Institute (now Hampton University), Central Intercollegiate Athletic Association or CIAA is a collegiate athletic conference, mostly consisting of historically black colleges and universities.  

It was originally known as the Colored Intercollegiate Athletic Association and is the oldest African American conference in the United States; they adopted the current name in December of 1950.  

Though the tournament has a legacy that dates back to 1892 when Biddle University, now Johnson C. Smith University, beat Livingstone in the first ever football game played between two African American colleges, when most people hear the term CIAA, they immediately think about parties, drinks and celebrities.  

(I'm actually not sure if that's actually a good thing now that I think about it but i'll leave that alone for now) 

During CIAA week I usually party from Wednesday to Saturday.  I pack up my sons things and ship him off with family for the week and I shamelessly party all night long.  Parents have to still get it in from time to time too!

And there isn't anything different about this year.  My son will be with his grandfather all week while his mom and dad tear up the city with friends.  Being that I'm a very detailed and orderly kind of guy, my CIAA wouldn't be right without my itinerary. I map out my whole week to ensure the success of my fun and drunkeness; don't believe me, just ask my friends.  

Being that this is my pre CIAA post, I thought I would share my moves with you guys and let you see what i have planned. 

Wednesday Night- Even though CIAA technically starts the last Monday in February, most "out of towners" dont start showing up to party until Thursday or Friday night.  Since I live in Charlotte, I start my festivities Wednesday night with the Warm Up.  

Now the Warm Up is exactly what it sounds like..... a warm up.  The Beta Rho Sigma graduate chapter of Phi Beta Sigma hosts this FREE event every year as a kickoff to the weekend.  I've been the past 2 years and was pleased with the turn out and great time I had.  It's more of a laid back event, 25 and up crowd but it's a nice atmosphere and you will get to mix and mingle with a few fellow greeks.

Thursday Night- Thursday nights are set aside for my Golden Bulls!  For the past 2 years on Thursday night during CIAA, JCSU alumni do what we do best... PARTY!  This is by far one of the best parties of CIAA to me.  The venues are usually nice and the drinks are on point but this event is more about the people.  Smithites from all generations band together for one unforgettable gold and blue night of music, fun and laughs.  This year, the Thursday Hook Up party will be at Empire.  I've never been to or heard of this club in Charlotte before but I'm sure the crowd and atmosphere will be the same this year like it is every year.
 For tickets, click the link below
http://www.eventbrite.com/e/hookahlife-charlotte-lex-bibbs-thursday-night-hook-up-club-empire-tickets-10574611949?aff=es2&rank=1&sid=714856d992b611e3892622000a9f4d4e

Friday Night- Friday night I am trying something new this year.  I usually do a lot of formal to semi formal events where everyone is dressed up and looking nice.  Whack!  I want to sweat and dance and feel like i did in college and that's why I'm going to the Grits & Biscuits party.  There has been a lot of buzz surrounding this down south party from all over and its guaranteed to be the move for your Friday night.  I looked up reviews from different cities and talked to people who went last CIAA and I've heard nothing but great things.  This year, G&B will be hosted at The Fillmore and they are expecting hundreds of people like last year.  The turn up is about to be real!  Here are a few tips the promoters thought would be helpful to those planning on attending.

Dress code- there is NONE- be comfortable
Bougie attitudes- you will look foolish
Suit jacket- rookie mistakes
Heels- rookie mistakes
Stretching- strongly suggested
Tickets- get them while they last
Fun- ALL NIGHT LONG

If you want to know more about this party, simply google Grits & Biscuits CIAA and for tickets please click the link http://www.livenation.com/events/330600-feb-28-2014-grits-biscuits-2014-21-w-valid-id

Saturday Night- Even though I was previously talking junk about the formal parties, I will be attending at least one this year.  Saturday night I will be living it up in the Bank of America building uptown for the Founders Hall party.  The pictures online look crazy and I've also spoken to people that went in previous years.  This party is guaranteed to be one of the biggest and livest parties of CIAA weekend.  You dont want to miss out on this one either.

Founders Hall CIAA party

If you want to know more about this party or buy tickets please click the link https://www.eventbrite.com/e/fanatic-finale-extreme-people-extreme-party-tickets-10492536459?ref=ebtn

That pretty much sums up my plans for CIAA 2014, feel free to visit any of the sites to purchase tickets or to  just check out any of the parties.  I will not be attending any day parties this year unfortunately but if you will be and want to know where the parties are visit www.mingleberry.com and click on events or www.eventbrite.com and search CIAA.

Please comment below and tell me your thoughts!

When Life Hands you Lemons: Acceptance and Positivity

I'm a young guy; 25 years old with a degree and I've always been pretty disciplined in life towards my goals. I didn't fall victim to the statistics of African American men in the country and I refused to be a product of my environment growing up. I've never failed a grade and I completed college in 4 years. It would seem like I would have a pretty successful career and living contently.... but i'm not.

I'm being plagued by the very same things that should be my motivation. My accomplishments validate to me even more why I should be somewhat successful in my career. Sadly, that's where it pretty much ends. I feel so defeated at times as a still fairly recent college graduate (2010). I was on such an incline in my life at one point in time and now that I've graduated, I'm stuck in my tracks.

The economy was in the worst state than in the past half a century and the job market plummeted completely. Graduates everywhere were faced with either three realities; go in debt further by advancing our education, search for a career in our related fields and hope to land a job offer or take a job that doesn't require a college education at all. Nothing wrong with working a job with no degree required, but when you spend thousand of dollars and countless man hours in your studies, you deserve what you've worked for.

On top of the stress of not landing that dream job I was promised by America if I went to college, I had a son by my college girlfriend. Now, not only am I trying to figure out who I am and what I want to do with my life but now I have a family to love and support. I wasn't ready.
I wasn't prepared.
This just wasn't in my life plans at the moment.

But like I've been taught to do all my life, I picked up my lemons and attempted to make lemonade. I made pitcher after pitcher after pitcher. I've made so much metaphoric lemonade that now I've started picking apples and oranges too. That's how much struggle I went through. I bounced from job to job searching for something lucrative and fulfilling but nothing seemed to happen for me.

At times like these when I'm struggling the most, I turn inwardly to do some self reflecting. What am I missing? What am I not learning to keep having to repeat this same lesson? Then one day it came to me.... Acceptance. I needed to learn how to accept my life, my rotten lemons and make my lemonade with pride. I needed to stop focusing on what I thought I should be doing and focus on perfecting what I was doing.

They say you have to trust GOD with your whole heart and at that moment I started to realize more what that meant. Yes, I've always felt like I put my trust in the creator but only when things were going good for me and in the same direction that I thought they should be going. When I was at my worst states, not knowing how I would manage or get over my hurdles, I tend to get nervous and unsettled. I would pray about it but I still wouldn't sleep well. I would use weed and alcohol to help me cope and escape my worries (that's a whole 'nother story in itself).

It dawned on me that I accepted the good moments in my life, but i refused to accept the bad. When things didn't go according to MY PLANS, I would try to force MY WILL to be done instead of figuring out how to make the most out of my ordeal. Once I realized that, things started to change for me. I didn't get upset about almost anything anymore. I made Acceptance my word for 2013 and for that whole year I accepted EVERYTHING that came my way.

When things got tough, I kept calm, cool and collect. I prayed and I showed GOD that I really did trust him and believed that he would never let me fall further than I was able to climb. Through acceptance I learned quite a few lessons on forgiveness and patience as well. I forgave others for things they had done and I forgave myself for things that I held onto.

Now that 2013 is behind me and I put practical use to the concept of acceptance, I have declared the year 2014 to be my year of positivity. Not only will I be positive to myself and those around me but I will be positive in my approach to life and situations. The Law of attraction is the name given to the belief that "like attracts like" and that by focusing on positive or negative thoughts, one can bring about positive or negative results.

My journey into positivity has just begun... I look forward to concluding my thoughts in 2015.

Please comment below and tell me your thoughts!

The Truth About Parenthood

Yes its true; children are the meaning to a fulfilled life. They bring great joy and an abundance of happiness and laughter.  When asked, most parents only say good things about the whole parental experience.  They don't talk about the life adjustments, stress, sleepless nights, domestic disputes and sometimes lame social life that comes with having your own little bundle of joy.  

Don't get me wrong, I'm a parent and my son is my whole life.  Even though being a dad isn't easy, I wouldn't trade it for the world.  I could tell you how indescribable it is the amount of love you feel for your child or how good it feels to know that you have someone that loves you no matter what but that's not the point of this blog.  Lets' tell the real truth about parenthood.    Parenthood is one of the most beautiful experiences ever. And it will be even more beautiful, still, if parents knew exactly what they’re in for in every regard, not just the highly romanticized ones.  

First things first; its alright to not want to be around your kids all the time.  There... I said it! No one died and the world hasn't coming to an end. There are times where you wont find them as adorable or as pleasant to be around.  Believe me, its true! But of course, being the loving and moral parent that you are, you bottle that feeling deep deep down in the very pits of your soul and pretend it away.  Don't feel bad, you're not the only parent out there that just sometimes need a break.

There is a book written by Daniel Gilbert, Stumbling on Happiness, that even concluded that a person’s “average happiness” dips considerably at the onset of parenting and doesn't again rise until the first child has gone off to college.  Now, I'm not going as far as to say your happiness will decline, but there are guaranteed life changes that will occur and you may not be as ready for them as you think.

Most people don't want to be the "bearer of bad news" when describing parenthood to friends or first time parents, so they tend to keep it light and friendly.  But that's exactly what you shouldn't do! New parents will appreciate you much more for giving them a heads up on EVERYTHING that awaits them around the corner.  If that still doesn't make you feel better, just think, What Would Jesus Do? He would want you to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Another unspoken truth about parenting is everyone doesn't fall in love with their child at first sight.  I'm sure you've heard the overly dramatized stories from parents of how they fell in love with their child as soon as they laid eyes on them.  While that is true for a lot of couples, its not always true for everyone.

Studies have found that about 20% of new moms and dads feel no real emotional attachment to their newborn in the hours after delivery.  Sometimes, it takes weeks or even months to feel that attachment according to WebMD.  So, if you haven't begun bonding with your baby, don't feel anxious or guilty, it should come with time.   

Parenthood is a joyous thing but lets not be afraid to tell the truth and the whole truth about it.  We could be saving some people the heartache of having to figure it out on their own. 

Please comment below, I'd love to hear your take on this!   

 

       

So now Zimmerman's a celebrity?

People have really gone crazy! Why would we allow George Zimmerman to be a topic of conversation in 2014? I was in total disbelief when I heard that Zimmerman was calling for a celebrity match.  I was in even more disbelief when I heard that celebrities were actually responding.  Rappers, The Game and DMX both have been vocal about accepting his challenge.

I'm sure both rappers and many Americans alike, are thinking this is the perfect opportunity to give Zimmerman what he deserves.  I can empathize with that but I totally disagree with the whole notion.  It seems that we are glorifying this killer by allowing him to put himself in a ring with someone famous and call it a "Celebrity Match".  Since when did stalking, shooting and killing a innocent teenager give you that kind of pull? Although, ubsurd, I cant help but think this is his way of staying relevant in the media.

Since he was acquitted of all charges in the murder of Trayvon Martin, he's had several run ins with the law due to tempered situations.  He was arrested in a alleged domestic dispute with his former wife and then handcuffed again for pointing a gun at his girlfriend not even 60 days later.  When I think of Zimmerman, I think of thug or a tyrant, not someone worthy of being celebrated.

The most important question I want to ask the supporters of this boxing match is what happens when the match is over and Zimmerman has been beaten to a pulp?  Will Trayvons' death be any less sad or senseless?  Will Zimmermans' defeat ease the pain of Trayvon's mother, father and loved ones? Or worse, what if Zimmerman wins the match.  Will people hate him more or regret the match entirely?

America needs to wake up and think about the message that we are perpetuating to our youth.  The world is more and means more than just entertainment for the masses.    

TOP 5 ENTREPRENEURAL MISTAKES

     When entrepreneurs set out to start their own business, they’re usually very optimistic and overwhelmed with ideas. The last thing on any new business owners mind is the thought of their business failing. Unfortunately, this is a reality that many have to face, but little to no credit is ever given to possibly the biggest culprit of all, the owner! Yes the owner!
     Statistics provided by the Small Business Association show that 30 percent of new businesses don’t survive the first two years and over 50 percent don’t make it past 5 years; sobering stats for someone tempted to put their time and effort into launching a new company.  I’ve never been a business owner, but I know a few people who’ve made unsuccessful attempts. Each time, there was some outside factor in why the business didn’t succeed; economic reasons, the banks, competition and even the customers, but hardly ever does a owner point the finger at themselves.

Here are the top 5 mistakes entrepreneurs make when starting a new business and tips for avoiding them.

Market Research
Many new business owners make the mistake of not investigating the market in which they will soon be a part of; this is a very crucial step and should not be taken lightly. Without market research, you will be uninformed about your firms place within the business market. Researching helps to identify trends, where your product is most likely to sell, establish fair prices for your product, view domestic and international competitors and understand the customer’s needs. Market research also helps you discover what you’ve been doing right and more importantly, what you’ve been doing wrong. There are two types of market research, primary and secondary; they both have their pros and cons, you would just need to find which one fits your business type.

Lack of Planning
Anyone who has ever held a position within an organization or business, know that proper planning is a crucial component of building ANY successful company. You wouldn’t set sail at sea without a map, so why would you start a business without a business plan? Think of the plan as the organizational structure of your business, a blueprint for the future. The information gathered can help you foresee potential risks and develop strategies for dealing with them before hand. Banks and investors want to feel comfortable that your company will succeed before investing and want to see your plans of action. Think of a business plan as your companies resume. Even when the company is up and running, many owners refer back to their business plan to ensure the company is on track with meeting goals, sales, and operational milestones and even revise and refocus the plan if needed.

Poor Management
Many reports on business failures have poor business management at the top of the list. Weak and inexperienced management have damaging effects on employees and the companies themselves. New business owners frequently lack enough business and management expertise in areas such as finance, purchasing, selling, production, and hiring and managing employees. Unless they recognize what they don't do well, and seek help, business owners may soon face disaster. Fraud is another aspect of business that owners need to be educated on. With tough times due to the economy, there are many who would prey on new business owners eager to get their business underway. With mastered interpersonal communication, an understanding of business finance and a proper vision, your company will be on the road to success.

Insufficient Capital
Another mistake often made by entrepreneurs is underestimating the necessary amount of funding you will need to start your business and to keep it afloat. Businesses can take up to a year or more to get started and it’s important to have enough capital to survive this period. Insufficient capital restricts business capacity and makes growth nearly impossible.

Over-expansion
The leading cause for companies going bankrupt is because of overexpansion. Owners sometimes confuse the company’s success with how fast they can expand, big mistake! Some owners move into markets that aren’t profitable and too much money is borrowed to keep the company’s growth constant; sometimes less is more. You may want to think about expansion if you’re having difficulty keeping up with product demands or if you can’t fulfill customer needs in a timely manner. Once a solid customer base is built and steady profit is seen, then work on developing and expanding your company.

Many entrepreneurs underestimate the difficulty in starting a new business. These five steps can shed some insight on what not to do and some helpful tips to ensure successful longevity in today’s business world.

Please comment below, I would like to hear your feedback!